Wishes that couldn't be granted .

French Cuisine

2011-05-02T19:18:00.000-07:00

Today's Menu is Creamy Sweet Potato Soup !

Equipment needed for this dish is:

chopping board,

peeler,

4 small bowls,

1 big bowl,

2 cup,

1 big jug,

1 small knife,

1 pot,

1 spoon,

1 hand blender,

1 tea spoon,

stirer

Ingredients:

2 sweet potatoes

2 cups of pumpkin

2 carrots

1 celery root

1 large chopped onion

3 sliced cloves of Garlic

Chicken stock

Some fresh thyme

1/2 a cup of rose wine.

1/2 a cup of cream (15% fat)

1/2 tsp of nutmeg

Salt and pepper to taste

2 tbsp of oil olive

Directions:

Peel the sweet potatoes, the carrots and the pumpkin, and sliced into large cubes.

Fry the onion in a pot with some olive oil until it gets yellow.

Add the garlic and the celery root, and keep frying for a 1 minute.

Add the carrots, the sweet potatoes and the pumpkin, and keep stirring for 3 minutes.

Add some fresh thyme, the chicken stock, and the wine, Just enough to cover the Vegetables, and bring to a boil.

Low the fire to medium hit, and cook for 40 minutes until the vegetables are soft.

Remove the pot from the fire, fish out the thyme, and blend with a hand blender until you get smooth cream.

Return the pot to the stove, add the cream, the nutmeg, and salt and pepper to taste.

Cook for 5 more minutes.

Serve hot and garnish with some fresh thyme a few drops of olive oil and a splash of pepper and nutmeg.

Woodlands Community Carnival to celebrate Racial Harmony

2011-04-24T19:44:00.000-07:00

“Hear-ye! Hear-ye! Republic Polytechnic is organizing a year-end Woodlands Community Carnival in campus to celebrate racial harmony and its importance in Singapore. Everyone is invited!”

ATTRACTIVE PRIZES TO BE WON.

BE THERE AT REPUBLIC POLYTECHNIC.

10A.M TO 10P.M

Celebrities will also be performing.

E.g ( Taufiq Batista , K pop , Hardy Mirza ,Stefanie Sun )

DONT MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO MEET WITH THEM !

EhhOhh !♥

2010-12-08T13:27:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother Father,

Eyy!

i love you many many.

awwwwwww.

nak bite bite !

can't wait to spend my time with you

&& with my

F A M I L Y .

Btw, guess what? i found it !

i fucking found myyyy...

POETRY BOOK !

heaven yea!

i also find alot

of memorable stuff.

other than that..

boring. ~!

tata!

P/s: Up & down. Love like this.

EhhOhh !♥

2010-11-24T06:44:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

its been decades.

yes, indeed.

but somehow, i can't seem to spill the words out from my mind.

i will try.

so.. here i go.

I understand. ;your love for me have faded. im sure it will vanish soon.

im not the girl you are proud to be with anymore.

im the girl that creates a lot of burdens in your beautiful perfect life.

i have nothing special in me to bring something new into your life.

i have never lighten & brighten up your life the whole time.

i never try to understand you & give yourself a space.

all i did, is depend too much on you.

But..

i did that because i love you. maybe a little too much.

i even missed you until i shed tears.

i couldn't tell you why..

i said i was stupid just to hide my embarrassment.

my tongue was too numb.. so i prefer to tell you this way..

if you happen to read this though..

i miss how we treated each other so special..

we shared the moments & stories about how we never been treated this way.

do you remember all that?

i hope you do, because i did.

However, haven't you realise what had happen to us?

im not gonna elaborate though but im very sure you understand what i mean.

or maybe this happens to show signs that we both are actually not meant for each other?

i can't bring myself to face that fact..

because i dont wanna let you go..

i need you.

but how can i try to escape whereas theres no exit doors.

therefore.. if you wanna leave me..

i let you go..

but dont tell me im heartless but..

ive let you go because i love you so much.

even if i let you go.

your still with me.

where?

a place where no one could enter but only you.

a room painted red but no windows or any doors.

my heart.

im shedding tears while typing this.

its been too long i kept this in me.

when i tried to explain..

i do not dare.

im sorry for asking you to leave me alone.

but seriously..

if only i could tell you that i wanted you to be with me everytime,not even a second without you.

i love you.

so much..

believe me,baby.

P/s: hardest decision ever. painful but just can't do it.

EhhOhh !♥

2010-08-25T03:59:00.000-07:00

Hello Mother Father,

im getting sick & tired of bottling up my feelings.

i know its been decades since ive blog.

well, there isn't any passerby to read my story anyway.

too boringggg..

each day, ive realised.

its been me , its not him.

maybe im the one who suck in relationship.

because of my problems at home.

i became a burden to my patner.

im just a total jinx.

you know, how i wish people could understand.

understand why i hold my tears , why i pretend that nothing happen.

its hard but i believe im strong.

too strong that i became more sensitive inside.

example ; im crying while blogging this.

if i had a room of my own like before.

i can assure you, i wont be bothering you.

i wont be wanting to see you everyday.

but everytime i tried to explain , im afraid.

afraid that you would say all that is just an excuse.

i meet you, because you are my love.

you made me smile & made me forget about the problems im facing.

i pretend that im having a life like before when im with you.

but when its time to go home ,

i feel like its time to go back to reality , girl.

therefore, if i have my own room.

i can release all my stress by doing the things that i love.

dancing , singing , writing poetry.

you don't know how much i miss doing all those things.

only God knows.

im not an attention seeker.

i am just enlightening you that this is my life.

ive gone through alot.

& since you are mine ,

you must play a part to motivate me to move on.

but every arguement we had,

now i know ;

maybe i shouldn't be with you.

im just a brat that ruin your beautiful life.

your perfect life.

it has been me.

myself & I.

im the culprit & im the spoiltbrat.

now , i apologise.

im sorry that i couldn't be a special girlfriend to you.

but i tell you from the bottom of my heart.

your a diamond to me ,

your my life ,

my love ,

my everything.

i love you sincerely eventhough im like a punching bag to you.

but i always remember your good ones rather than your bad ones.

thats how my love for you grows stronger everyday.

believe me..

all this is real.

from me to you.

P/s: Love , Iyrahh.♥

EhhOhh !♥,

2010-06-04T08:51:00.001-07:00

Hello Mother Father,

thats a picture of my beloved babysister .

cute right ?

LOL.

still remember those times whereby people thought she was my daughter.

currently ,im not feeling well.

there is no such word of 'relationship' in my life diary.

maybe not yet.

now , i have this thought && ive observe this long time back.

most couples were so loving during courtship ,

but after being in a relationship,

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG !

so wrong .

ive nearly give up on guys .

ill try my best to concentrate on my O's eventhough its tough.

boy, im struggling.

ohh noo.. IL DO MY BEST .

my mid-year was what ive expected .

ive done badly .

so bad that i could not even look at my result slip.

im sorry.

call me silly .

ive woke up && realise it .

all i need is the support && care for now .

but not really hoping for it .

i just have to make an effort to have something different in my life .

something that can last && make me smile every moment .

it can either me something or someone .

someone; gotta postpone you after my O's okay .

P/s: im sorry , get the fact that we re over boy.

EhhOhh ! ♥,

2010-05-06T08:37:00.000-07:00

Hello Mother Father ,

yes , i thought by having someone in my life now would make a difference .

i agreed . but in a bad way .

dissapointment is all i could explain .

currently , im having my mid-year exam .

its really difficult for me to cope as problems kept coming in .

you see .. i just move out .

now the home is abit crowded && i cant find any nice spot to study at.

people , aftersince my parents aint staying under one roof anymore .

i felt it .

it refers to the sense of absence that brings the meaning of 'missing'

on the 5 may was my father birthday .

well , i sent him a simple && sweet text message .

with his reply , tears welled up in my eyes .

its touching .

so if your parents are still together && your taking things for granted .

pls dont .. cause when your parents become like mine .

your life wont be easy .

ive regretted .

i miss my old family .

yet , i do love my new family for now .

i learn from my mistakes .

relationship is full of shit for now .

when a nice person who cares for me , i will be the one having doubts .

because i dont feel the vibes for that person other than a friend .

but when i care for a person , it turn out to be all wrong .

fuck it .

P/s: im dead .

EhhOhh♥,

2010-04-18T07:31:00.000-07:00

Hello Mother Father ,

credits to Herina for that picture .

well , i post that picture as it is showing that im busy with school .

study study study ..

what to do ?

O level .

but , Mid year is coming very very soon .

plus , im applying Direct Admission to Poly .

&& consider im slacking in my studies siaa..

oh well well , i got to wakey wakey .

soon , at 29 April / 30 april im moving out from my current home .

gonna really miss it man .

haishh ..

been years going through hell in this house but still it does have wonderful memories .

ill never forget it though .

life have been tough .

duhh , because of my hectic family .

what to do , one obstacle after another in life .

ill be strong && try to find some ways to make my life better .

love life have change ..

hope i could trust && love that someone .

wanna know ?

oops , confidential . LOL

take care folks , i love you .

P/s: hold me tight , never let me go .

EhhOhh !♥

2010-03-12T07:48:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

life is as usual .

not that usual , actually .

i think its a storm season for me now .

scientific prove that usually , most of the time , after storms there will be a rainbow.

what im trying to imply is that ,

maybe , MAYBE there will be a rainbow in my life sooner or later .

hope so .

im happy with my result but i believe that i could do even better .

so i guess i need to strive && aim a little higher for my education .

didn't expect to get A1 for E maths .

i told yah , forget about A maths .

english .. haishh .. no comment .

Aby , congrats about having someone special in your life .

im proud && happy for you .

see , your patience pay off .

as for me , i think its shows that i suck in love life .

i really treasure you as a friend && i miss every single thing we always did .

even when your scolding me .

haha !

better take a good care of your girlfriend ,

shes very cute && she seems nice .

&& your very wrong that im gonna have someone soon .

VERY wrong .

that someone even hurt me even more

making me disbelieve && losing trust in love .

but its okay .

im strong , i can endure && tolerate with this emotions eventhough it hurt so bad .

i ve prove it , i scored quite well for my Common Test .

not very good though .

people , am i that really freaking fat ?

i mean like ..

i heard comments , insults about me being fat .

i laughed along but i kept thinking .. am i ?

its not my wish to be fat .

all fat girls wished to be slim .

its reality .

i am like this due to generation , i dont choose to be this way either .

i like to be liked for who i am .

as long as i have curves && not flat-chested .

P/s : i don't know why i feel so scared right now .

EhhOhh !♥

2010-03-01T05:39:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

currently im feeling pissed off .

the reason being is i was bad mouthed .

i could not take it as a comment but instead i find it as an insult .

nevermind , hope it will be settle soon between Isyahnu && Mummy .

what makes me unhappy is that Isyahnu make me invovle between her conflict && my mum .

like , WTH ? what does it gotta do with me .

&& theres a comment that is the cause of my anger .

oyites ; good news .

eventhough with this popply bubbles of problems kept popping ,

i still try to maintained my studies .

hope i will still continue doing so .

well , i got second in class for my E maths common test 44/50 .

i passed physics , i got 20.5/50 .

forget about A maths , its a disaster .. hate my confidence . 11/50

mother tongue was .. err.. sucha shame .

doing a retest though for the comprehension . actual i got 36/70 .

haven got my other subject yet .

but im sure .. i didn't do well for my english . really .

when will it be the time for me to escape ?

for once .

P/s: GODDAMN YOU !

EhhOhh !♥

2010-02-24T07:51:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

okays lahh ..

i update okay .

A maths is a total fucked up .

Malay average .

English same situation as A maths .

Social Studies .. err .. no comment .

soon to come three test in a day .

wtffff !

nvm .

im like hanging on a rope at the egde now .

i hope im gonna have an angel by my side soon .

serius .

i wannnnnaaaaa go KLLLLL !

pretty please .

oh God , i wanna plss plss escape from problems for the meantime .

maybe it will work ..

make the plan work .

pls .

i have alot of things to share but dunno where to start from .

so i think i should wait till the moment where i really feel that i should share ,

then i will share .

not in time yet . (:

P/s : Disappointed .

EhhOhh !♥

2010-02-07T04:15:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother-Father ,

yesterday was quite fun though .
free from problems .

just that moment .

school is as usual .

weekends past just like a blink of an eye .

sometimes i feel that im should be out from this house .

so i could escape from problems .

i never fail to pretend .

i could be an actress .

not boasting ,

its just that ive lied too much .

especially to myself .

each day , i thought && felt that im getting uglier .

i tried to pick up smoking .

but i just could not find the pleasures of it .

now another problem popped .

i wanna escape from it .

but i weak , God .

too weak .

i need an angel .

need it now , totally .

i just want some warmth around me .

until when must i pretend ?

you couldn't imagine what kinda liar i am when im outside .

i lied too much .

dont misunderstood me , people .

im very honest when it comes to serious matters .

but Family Matters , let me just share with you a short summary .

then FULLSTOP .

but it isn't the same how ive gone through it .

&& now , im going through it ALONE .

i need energy , im getting weaker everyday .

you don't know how it feels to see your sibling fought with your parents .. ,

your both parents happily enjoying while im here thinking .. ,

i just can't stop this tears from welling in my eyes ,

everydayy ..

its have always been me being the middle person .

to stop evereything but it will never end .

it will still continue .

what if im not here ?

it will be worse .

i had enough .

pray that ill have an angel by my side soon .

that may help to lessen my burden .

really .

P/s: i dont wanna waste my tears no more . please God .

EhhOhh !♥

2010-02-03T00:07:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother-Father ,

now its time to make my dead blog alive again .

theres alot of things i would like to share .

but ,

i can't bring myself to list it one by one .

you guys might know how it feels to be lonely ..

i hate it when im alone .

i will tend to think ..

think negatively .. burden .. life .. everything .

it led me being paranoid .

i hate being lonely .

i hate it when i couldn't share my thoughts .. couldn't show my love to someone special .

i wouldn't wanna show it to a friend .

it will end up hurt us both .

for example , like now .

i was just being myself .

end up .. not only one started falling for me ..

im not boasting or what .. but why must the one that fall for me isn't the one for me ?

i just could not have any feelings for them .

other than feelings for a friend .

i wish they could know how miserable i felt not to have the feeling of admiring a person .

i would love to think of someone everynight , to hold hands when cross the road , etc .

i wanna be myself .

i wanna be original .

i dun wanna hurt anyone , nor i wanna hurt myself .

i wanna have boyfriend .

noo .. not a boyfriend .

i want someone who is sincere that can treat me how i wish to be treated ;

so i can love him like how i want to .

im sincere .. sincere helping human beings around me ..

but would they understand that theres not much i will get after helping them .

all i get is .. im proud of myself .

proud of helping my friends .. showing them how sincere i am being their lovable friend .

Ohh God .

cubalah kau memahami ku pada masa ini .

P/s: i rather die to leave without ..

EhhOhh !♥

2010-01-14T05:03:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

i hate myself .

totally .

is it me myself who changed ?

a lot of things happened today .

i cried in school .. was being too sensitive i think ?

but then .. now ..

i really feel irritated .

irritated with my OWN self .

what does that mean ?

what i do in life will never be right .

when i think it will be fine , it will surely turn out to be bad .

what the hell ?!

this is why i prefer not to have confidences in myself .

im tired . sick && tired .

going through all of this alone .

when is the time i will get someone to accompany me together in this ?

when can someone win my heart ?

well , i think i know the answer .

not now .

sadlyyyyyyy .. when i need an angel at most ..

the angel is nowhere .

i miss you .. but why are you doing this to me .

you know my problems .. yet .. i still get this shit .

i want to be happy again .

please .

P/s: im dying inside . can someone save me ?

EhhOhh !♥

2010-01-13T07:32:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother-Father ,

i dunno what happened to me yesterday .

well , my mood swings is getting bad to worse .

i know the reasons though .

first thing was , im taking my medication ; secondly , PMS .

got to know today i had my menses .

but what happened yesterday was something that i have been keeping it to myself .

i really explode like a time bomb .

i spilt all the feelings i felt to him .

but he didn't seems to care .

or maybe he did but its just that he didn't know how to show ?

i kept it to myself because im scared that ill be over-reacting .

but then , this is how i felt .. i can't bottle it up anymore ..

its killing me .. torturing me .

it really took me alot of courages to make the decision on giving up on you .

you said i didn't sacrifice ?

don't you know .. i did sacrifice .. i did sacrifice to WAIT for you whereas i miss you terribly .

i tried to control it without bothering you .. because im worried that ill be annoying to you .

i waited for your calls && msg-es .

when you called , its not even 5 mins && you said you got some other errands to do .

you gave an excuse that you are busy ?

but why , when i first know you , we can chit chat longer than that ?

isn't that an excuse ?

come on , i told you .. i prefer people to tell it straight to my face that you dont like me ..

rather than you give me hopes .

theres others who wants to appreciate me for who i am .

why do i still wait for you ?

because i do care for you && its shows that i am faithful .

but nothing pays off . its all wasted .

i dont wanna be told that im desperate for you ..

cos im NOT !

get this straight .

appreciate me or leave me .

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY GUY IN THIS WORLD !

okay im done .

people , i miss blogging .

seriusly i do .

sec 5 is really tough .. trying my best though .

P/s: i really really miss you , but i just dont wanna be treated this way .

EhhOhh !♥

2009-12-30T10:36:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

i miss blogging indeed .

well , had alot of fun these days ..

too tired to update ..

soo let this be a summary of what had happen .

well , to celebrate my step Father birthday ..

we went to Malaysia .

it was effing greaaaaat !

&& it was christmas day .

first , we went Genting Highlands .

it was super duper cold .

the clouds were really visible .

we went there just for sight seeing .

then we headed back to KL .

eventhough theres some hiccups along the way ..

we had the a memorable trip .

a great one .

alot of pictures .. but naaaaah ..

not gonna post it .

tiring .

relationships ?

had no idea for now .

maybe wanna keep it a low profile ?

butttttttt ..

i just wished i could shareee ..

so that i could let this mother fucking burden ofF my shoulder .

aftersince i read the message .

my heart really shrink .

i really think its gonna be numb back .

i slept for two hours && suddenly i woke up .

realising that im still thinking of this ..

i cried ..

but theres no use ..

you dont even know how it hurts .

how insecure i am .

how worried i am .

how fucked up i felt .

but i wish you would know .

so you would understand my situation right now .

i hate it when you turn the table back on me .

nevermind me .

just dont even bother .

P/s: you made me sound so desperate . WTH ?!

EhhOhh !♥

2009-12-23T06:16:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

those people are my true bestfriends .

we chat , laugh , cry together .

can't imagine if we were to go our separate ways later on.

anyway , i ve decided .

i wanna continue sec 5 .

i was so frustrated before deciding that decision .

i was tearing up && stuff .

no one was with me at that moment .

all i had , was my inner strength that kept me moving .

the next day, Asri too helped me in deciding the path where i should choose .

by elaborating more about whats the different between those two paths .

what he said is totally true .

well , i told myself that ..

i wont aim high cause i know it hurts when you cant achieve it .

ill be humble && just follow the flow .

ill try my very very best to concentrate in my studies .

love life ?

whats love ?

love is ... arrrhhh ! check the dictionary lah .

LOL .

i sometimes dont understand myself .

i thought im in love ..

but the feeling in me is like im worried .

im worried that the next relationship wont work out because of me .

these days .. i ve always been thinking about this .

&& when are you gonna tell me that im yours , Asri ?

hmm ..

P/s: i wanna be loved && being treated nicely . please ..

EhhOhh !♥

2009-12-19T23:49:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

its time to celebrate darling .

baby, i passed my N level .

i get to go sec 5 !

BUT ..

i am gonna take higher nitec course .

accounting or business service .

on the day i got my results ..

i celebrate with my darling , Asri .

i went to Johor with him , his sisters && friends .

by a car .

he is the driver of course .

i sat infront with him .

i had fun but kinda miserable ..

it was my first day of BLOOD LEAKING .

understand understood .

thanks to Asri Baby .

for the prayers && everything .

The next day ,

i celebrate my hard work with Epul && Ezam.

we went karaoke .

ITS WAS FUCKING GREAT.

we took videos && it was hilarious .

but i aint gonna post of course .

LOL .

jatuh saham siol !

i hope Asri isn't toying with my feelings ..

im feeling insecure .

totally insecure .

P/s: why must i dreamt about you ?

EhhOhh !♥

2009-12-17T03:06:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

On Wednesday , 16 .

Asri met me && we watched Paranormal Entity .

we watched at the free movie online website .

well , it was boring .

not scary like Paranormal Activity .
but then , time is running out .

&& Asri had to go back because he need to go to work .

well , had fun though .

On that Night .

i went out with the monkeys ..

Epul , Ezam , Seetee , Boi && Haidhar .

verrrrrrrry funn sia !

but not fun without Asri .

:'(

ahahahahaha ~!

corny sia iyrahh .. ishk !

but very tiring lahh .. asik melatah jeks .
Today , Thursday , 17 .

Asri send me to Kallang to take my uniform .

i ride on his DRZ ,

likeee scary mary seys .

urgh ~!

but best lah .

ilhsfm .

P/s: Are you my hero ?

EhhOhh !♥

2009-12-14T04:01:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

Asri Baby <3

went out with Epul , Ezam , Seetee && Asri .

at first lah .

we went to what Keppel Bay .

i dunno lah . not sure of the places .

than mummy called to pick Baby up ASAP .

so we went && pick her up .

after than , we bought some food for ourself && headed to east coast .

Ezam bought for me a Mc Spicy meal .

so i shared with Asri .

i knew if i were to eat the food myself ..

i will take a very long time for me to finish it .

Seetee , Ezam && Epul took care of Baby while i && Asri went for a walk .

romantic , lovely && awwwww ..

okayokay .

urmm ..

today i have some misunderstanding with Asri .

we talked && apologised to each other .

suddenly he said to me ,

he wanna meet me .

he asked me to accompany him to have his dinner .

wheee ~!

i can't wait .

i miss him .

bizarre but then it true .

ishkkk ~!

P/s: my heartbeat was beating fast when im with you .

EhhOhh !♥

2009-12-12T23:30:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

coloured nails .

just love the colour .

retro baby .

the pictures was taken on 13 december .

Me , Mummy , Ezam , Epul && Baby went out .

we went to 3 places .

first was the Henderson Waves .

places was nice && windy .

alots of trees , not so eerie .

but lots of bikers mostly chinese .

BIG BIKES !

woaaahs ~!

second was Labrador .

the places is very eerie .

few of couples .

Epul shared stories while showing me the places while the rest stays in the van .

the vibes there was too strong .

so we went to buy something ..

&& headed to the last place .

which is the Marina Barrage .

the places was Awesome !

windy && stuff .

i took lots of pictures .

poor Epul , being forced by ME !

lol .

today plans was to go out again , MAYBE .

at night lah ..

hope it happen , if not it will be such a bore to be at home .

P/s:i love this feeling in me.

EhhOhh !♥

2009-12-10T09:10:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

yay !

his name is Asri .

he loves red .

nice && cute && shorty boy .

just a few cm taller than me .

i went on a 'date' on Thursday , 10December with him .

its our very first picture .
i swear that i really had fun with him today .

went to Vivo city .

wanted to go Town at first .

but i told him i HATE Town .

we planned to watch a movie but it was too late .

we ended up sitting on the third floor .. or roof top thingyy ..

enjoy the beautiful veiw .

we sat down && chit chated .

but when you are enjoying.. you will never realise that time flies so fast .

&& POOF ~!

its time to go home .

my mom likes him . && thats a good thing .

he also promised me alot of things .

&& im kinda honoured with those promises he made .

hope to go out with him again one day .

Alex :

dont be sad ..

im still your very good fren .

i know you will surely find someone prettier && hotter than me .

surely one lahh !

iffff you are HOT too .

hahaha .

dont say those words as if im going to die or something .

CAUSE ! im still here . alive .

i will pray for you about your love life okay .

hope you wont forget a friend like me .

:'(

Asnawi :

i hope you are reading this .

i didnt get any msges from you .

never heard from you for so long .

i hope you are doing fine .

&& also i hope your job is helping you to make yourself busy .

take care of yourself .

i miss hearing your voice , joking with you .

seriusly .

imysm !

:'(

P/s: I think you stole my heart .

EhhOhh !♥

2009-12-08T03:33:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother Father ,

yesterday was the day ive become someone that i had wished.

it really happen .

i had my confidence back after since the break up .

now i plan ..

i should go on a date && move on .

im now building back the confidence in me .

wish me luck .

no negative thoughts now .. but later ?

im not sure .

Ajen :

you are really sweet .

i was just having flu && you were so caring until you advise me at your blog .

i appreciate it alot .

now im feeling better as ever .

i hope we will still be CLOSE friends .

really .

Alex :

everyday want to talk to me .

without talking to me you can't sleep .

LOL .

try to use that as an excuse .

but , your still cute .

but please stop boasting yourself .

im getting irritated .

&& yahh .. you are my boy-freeeen lah .

not special fren .

special fren .. urmm .. no one yet that attract my heart .

actually there is but ..

disappointment build a wall in between us .

He will know when he read this .

P/s: i swear i missed you .

EhhOhh !♥

2009-12-03T20:16:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother-Father ,

look at my eyes colour !

wheeee ~!

okay whatever .

im pissed off with my father attitude .

my real father .

the way he speak to me is so ..

he was like finding my mistakes just to let out his fucking anger on me.

you know ..

i wore a sleeveless top && hot pants at home ..

he nagged at me .

i knew that my step father was here ..

but at that time when i wore that , my step father wasn't at home .

it wass my sleeping kit .

when i woke up ..

i took my hoodies && my tights to change ..

before i could change in the toilet he scolded me .

i dunno what came into me ..

i just kept quiet without arguing back .

come on lah ..

if he wants me to hate him .. i can try ..

but do talk nicely .

if i were to argue back ..

what i would say will make his face RED !

RED as in embarassed .

i want moneyyyy !

i want moneeey to rebond my hair !

Daryl said we gonna share dyes on 14 dec !

i looiiiikee ..

the colour also .. weewiit !

Alex , you know thats my darkest secret ..

&& you laughed at it .

i dont trust you liao !

ihy .

P/s: one word to describe me now ; Numb Heart.

EhhOhh !♥

2009-12-01T20:37:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother-Father ,

second post of the day !
LOL .

sorry if the picture is too bright .

but i love my eye .

seeexxxy !

bhb ( perasaan) !

currently im chatting with Mister Alex Lim .

i find him cute && bizarre .

LOL

why ?

because my first quiz ..

he scored more then my ex .

how shameful is that ..

i barely know him at that time ..

now started chatting with him .

he is very adorable ..

ahaha .. Chinese looking .

what i meant by Chinese looking is ..

THE SMALL EYES .

lol .

no offence though .

presently , im waiting for Mr Ajen to ask me on a date .

hahaha .

but i think we should organise a shisha outing instead .

i miss sheshaaaa-ing ~~!

Awi , maybe you are reading this ..

maybe you are not ..

its a lie if i told you i didn't like you at first .

its a lie if i told you i dont miss you right now .

but your doing is making me keeping a distance from you .

i hope by working makes you forget about that shits ..

i love this friendship .

i can't bare to lose a very understanding friend like you .

i swear , when you came across my mind ..

i felt like sending a message to asked how are you ..

but my fingers are numb .. too numb ..

too disappointed . im sorry dear .

i really liked you before . honestly .

P/s: hate is a strong word but i really really dont like you .

EhhOhh !♥

2009-12-01T20:22:00.001-08:00

pictures on Ezam's birthday pit .

Hello Mother-Father ,

well , i know its been days that i havent update my blog .

two people asked me why .

no answers to that question though .

i already remind on my last post that i have no mood to update constantly .

i felt sorry for my brother , Dan .

he just went through a broke up with his girlfriend .

well , i have gone through that before .

same situation but the his last long about 1 yr 2 month ..

mine was 1 yr 1 month .

date doesn't matter though ..

but being together after so long ..

the love grow strongger && suddenly it disappear ..

the feelings is so ...

nvm .. you guys surely knew what i meant .

poor Dan . im sure you gonna get over it .

i think . well at least dont be like me ;

confusing life .

past 2 days .. it was my god brother's birthday pit .

we guys are so close that we consider ourself like families ..

the pit was at east coast .

i helped out alot && not forgetting that i dont even rest my eyes for one day .

Ezaaaam ! you owe me big time . LOL

nvm , im sincere though .

peeps , prepare for the second post .

P/s:i wanna fly free && see the whole world .

EhhOhh !♥

2009-11-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother-Father ,

im in no mood to update constantly .

but today , i got a shocking news from someone i really miss .

its so unfair && disappointing .

is this karma ?

i just dont get it .

what i did is being honest .

being honest end up hurting others .

what the fish ?

rather than i continuing to lie .

its stupid , dont you think so ?

im lying to the other party && my own self .

people just dont get it !

its not fun to hurt others && i dont like it either .

you know why ?

cause whenever there is words to be spoken ,

i tried to put myself in the other person shoe .

prefer to elaborate more so that the person can accept it && understand it .

but how hard i tried to make another party understand ,

i end up being blame .

what the heck ?

i don't even asked them to fall for me .

i don't even use sweet words to you to make you guys attracted to me .

im being myself && is that wrong ?

your acting like a juvenile .

*roll eyes*

im not being a snob all right .

i just wanna befriends .

&& about the disappointing news .

whenever i start to have feelings for someone ..

there will always be something bad occurs .

goshh ! i miss you .

why did you even do that ?

i just hope the words you confess && told me are all real .

i tak nak kate kate you hanye untuk sedapkan hati i .

i dont need that .

haishh ~

P/s: how dare you did that . im not mad , just disappointed.

EhhOhh !♥

2009-11-20T02:56:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother-Father ,

its been days or a week since i updated .

now my blog is full of spider webs .

lol .

im currently having mixtures of feelings .

i felt ; lonely , hyper , confused && worried .

let me explain why i felt that way .

lonely ; single is nice but when you overcame some obstacles whereby you need someone special to talk to , there is no one .

jyeaahs , no one .

friends isn't the same as someone special .

hyper ; friends should know why . i am a type of girl who never fail to have a smile on her face . i will laugh && laugh like no ones business .

confused ; now , lesser people are contacting me . But i have these wonderful,lovely,romantic dream .&& i have this feeling that dream is telling me something && i hope its a good news .

worried ; Asnawi have not contacted me for days ! like why ?! i miss you siaa . im so worried that something is happening to you . you didn't even went online , on facebook . i wanna call your father hp but its a NONO . hope your doing fine .

maybe you dont wanna befriends with me anymore but at least you should be honest rather than making me so worried .

people , these past few days have been raining .

why ? why ? why ?

i wanna go out .

i wanna be free .

i wanna get out from this hell situation .

FUCK THIS SHIT MAN !

P/s: i need someone rite now .

EhhOhh !♥

2009-11-15T07:11:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother-Father ,

today , ive been having my mood swing .

i feel so furious && frustrated .

no idea why .

well , just now i saw that bastard's blog .

i got so pissed off .

i nearly cry .

silly me .

now , i realise people appear && within days

they went missing .

where are they ?

sometimes i find myself ridiculous .

at the past , i love to text/call people no matter what my situation is .

but presently , i dunno why i changed .

im not a snob alright .

i just prefer people to find me instead of me finding them .

but then when they contact me ,

i intend to reply when its necessary .

i pitied those who really have the intentions to get to know me better .

i don't know what came into me .

maybe i should change .

i know its silly if its because of a person ,

i change my attitude towards the others .

its so unfair .

i realise my mistakes && now for people who was once being treated that way ,

would you forgive me && give me a second chance ?

hope so.

later , i will be heading back to my crib .

bedok house .

will bored being alone at home but then i could do some exercising .

but ill miss some of my cyber friends .

awww ..

Arfan , jom kite tgk wayang .

date ?

hahahaha ! i loiike .

i wanna rebond my hair but i freaking broke .

:((

P/s: no text/call from you one whole day , gosh imy !

EhhOhh !♥

2009-11-13T21:47:00.001-08:00

Hello Mother-Father ,

will someone appreciates me for who i am ?

that makes me wonder .

will i have another relationship in the future ?

thats makes me pee in my panties .

why ?

cause im still thinking of the answers .

but the most question that kept pestering me in my mind is .

am i giving myself a chance ?

i have no mood to blog luh .

blame these questions .

-_-"

Ajen , i miss talking to you .

thanks for the advice , friend .

&& i appreciate your understanding too .

*hugs*

P/s: proof to me that you can be trusted .

EhhOhh !♥

2009-11-11T21:38:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother -Father ,

well , obviously im a virgo .

i find that pic cute && true .

its purple , awww .

you guys might be wondering why i have two post for today .

this post is all about myself .

firstly , im bored .

secondly , i could not stop thinking .

so i guess by sharing might help.

i have my wishlist kept in my head .

&& i need money to grant those wishes :(

meantime , i am currently on diet && exercising whenever i have the time .

mostly , i will exercise if im staying at Bedok .

laugh all you want .

but i know i do this for my own good .

im sick && tired of being insulted .

im sick && tired of having negative thought about myself .

maybe people didn't meant what they say or they merely joke around .

but when im alone , i will tend to think back about the words they said .

those harsh words that pierce through my heart .

i didnt blame those people but yet i thanked them .

i realise im just a piece of shit .

presently , i have these sickness .

its too personal to tell exactly about my sickness .

cause it gotta do with girl's stuff .

but what i have to take note is ..

i could not stress out && think too much .

but recently , problems kept popping up in my mind .

i couldn't run away from those .

soo now , my sickness is getting worse .

mummy told me that we should go for a check-up one day .

but i dont want to .

what i know that might help to cure my sickness is .

to eat aloads of yogurt .

&& stop thinking .

i just couldn't help it .

i need help :((

P/s : this sickness is killing me . gosh .

EhhOhh !♥

2009-11-11T18:49:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother-Father ,

sorry i stole your picture without asking for your permission , Awi .

well , i wanna wish you both HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

as for your sissy , Have a great Sweet 6Teen .

&& you , Bitter two-enty , lol .

no laahs .. just kidding .

May all your wish come true && May Allah bless you with loads && loads of love && endless happiness .

the way i wish you yesterday was not how i planned to wish you .

ThankGod im the first person . haha .

furthermore , about your notical studies .

dont worry too much .

you have a great goal in your future .

&& always have faith in what you believe && you will reach the destination .

no matter what , ill be here to support you , dear .

i hope to meet you one day .

whenever i think about your 'confession' ,

i blushed .

dear , i liked you , happy now ?

lidahku kelu untuk mengatakan ku suka kamu .

cheeeey ! very corny .

well , im sincere though .

at least i given you a clue that its not one sided .

As for yesterday ,

i would like to thank all my dearest ones for your prayers .

the results was superb && my mom won !

fairly indeed .

it was 50/50 && custody is now with my mom.

i can't wait to have a home && we together as a family .

happy family i could describe .

haha .

the cisco men over there was so cute .

i looiike .

cuci mate lahh sikit , kan best .

hahahahaha !

P/s : Alhamdulillah syukur . Syg , i guess your smiling :)

let this be over .♥

2009-11-09T22:31:00.000-08:00

Hello Mother-Father ,

I just randomly post that picture for fun . haha

Today , its the last freaking paper .

&& yeaaahs ~! now im freee . hurraaaay ~!

call me lazy , i dont care .

im not finding a job its because i find it worthless .

know why ?

its because , in one month the results will be out .

one month isn't long sister .

its like a blink of an eye && TADAAA ~!

results ~

*bite lips* now im shaking ; nervously .

Yesterday , i was so angrossed telling my mom abt the 'bizarre' story .

my god brother lohh .

hehehe . && my mum even teased me . blerghh !

i hate guys sweet talking .

it gives me goosebumps . weird huh ?

well , i dont mind if its from someone i love .

*blush*

while im in the bus , a question that have been asked by a guyfriend came flashing back .

question : ' so are you over it ? '

it was referring to my previous break up .

actually , i dunno the ans .

im still thinking .

am i ? or not ?

till when i have to go through this feeling ?

Tomorrow , double the fear .

its my parents court hearing day .

me && my brother were told that we were to be interveiwed by the judge one by one .

what if i ans something stupid ?

what will happen tomorrow ?

will this end soon ?

i never have gone through this before .

i need ans to these question .

sometimes , not all questions have answers , iyrahh .

i'll just leave to God && i believe He will be fair .

He is always fair .

&& one good thing about tomorrow is , Asnawi will be bacck !

wohhoooo ~!

people , dont misunderstand .

im single && Asnawi is just my dearest friend okays .

i loooiiike manyy many oi !

P/s : God , i beg you . i really need Your help for tomorrow .

OH GOD !

2009-11-09T07:06:00.000-08:00

hello Mother-Father ,

Sorry Farshy , i stole this picture .

well , people i recommend you guys to watch this .

especially for people who didn't believe in paranormal .

its fucking scary && i watch it alone .

but in the afternoon . haha .

thaank God its in the afternoon .

if its at night , i will be crying in fear till now.

lol.

yah lahh . imma scardy cat but seriously you need to watch it .

&& you will know what i meant .

i rated this movie 5 FUCKING STARS !

Today , i got to chat with Asnawi . whee ~!

i was shocked && didnt believe its him at first .

but hell yeah !

its him .

we chated but not that long cause he is quite scared that the grandfather will scold him.

or something , can't remember about that .

but i respect that && i super duper miss you :((

Tomorrow ; wish me luck people .

having my O level MT retake .

but fuck yeah ! its the last paper .

&& after that , hurrayyyy ~!

but not really , quite nervous about my results .

Yesterday , i chated with Ryan(my god brother)

&& i swear that the conversation is really bizarre .

wahhh , so good . there is like Yesterday , Today && Tomorrow story.

well , i will try to update everyday if im free okays ?

my life is sucha bore to share .

but wait ! wish my family luck on 11 Nov .

hehe , the Day After Tomorrow :P

ill be having a court hearing .

haissh ~

P/s: i believe justice is on our side , mummy . don't worry .

BAPOOOK !

2009-11-07T19:55:00.000-08:00

shuddup lah ! dont laugh can or not ? the picture next to me is the make up artist(Seetee) lol . && my cute little babysister .

hello Mother-Father ,

yesterday , i actually went berserk .

okay fine , not really .

the plan didn't work because farshy was terribly sick .

her voice sound like a puppy that was just given birth . no offences though .

to replace the boredom , Seetee text me saying she is coming over .

coming over to practice make up on my face .

i was freaking excited .

Seetee came && we chated for a while , then i planned to go down && have dinner together .

&& she came out with the idea ; 'why not i make up you first ?'

i agreed .

she brought alot of 'gadgets' . && its soo cool.

i swear to you .. i look like a Shemale .lols

promise me you wont laugh && PLS COMMENT at my Cbox .

Today , i got a text from Seetee again that she is coming over .

Epul , diam lahh . cina pekji waklu !
i miss Asnawi .

P/s: i realise , natural make up is 100% better .

sing like a rockstar .

2009-11-06T20:00:00.000-08:00

Hello arsehole dig-ers ,

Thats my future sister-in-law . she cute && she is my BIATCH !

touch her , i'll make sure you have no nose && eyes .

haha . whatever .

Farshy , i love you my MR .

On December , Seetee proposed to me for being her make up model.

make up ? wow , like A BIG WOW .

Today , my dearest friend , Asnawi ,

is leaving me to visit his grandfather .

im so sad .

*sobsobbs*

Tonight , my brother && farshy planned to ton at somewhere .

but now sure where .

they said at esplanade but then ,

POKAII DOKK !

hahaaaa . Plan B was at east coast , not bad right ?

thought of asking Asnawi to join but sadly he have leave in the afternoon.

so i asked Amin , my webcam patner instead && gladly , he agreed.

Amin ; Anak Bangla . wahahahahaha ! just kidding darling .

to my dearest Asnawi ;

pls don't take care of yourself when you are away .

goshh ! im really gonna be happy when you leave .

hope you will not have a pleasant journey .

&& pls dont miss me too much .

HAHA!

i meant it the opposite way .

P/s:i got a secret to tell you , hes gay .

heaven.

2009-11-06T08:44:00.001-08:00

Hello Bloodsuckers ,

i just felt as if i am not the usual person i used to be . i could't find the reason why .

Muhammad Asnawi , you are really a rainbow after the storms.

you are a great friend . goshh !

i am surely gonna miss you this coming 5 days . i swear .

right now , i have no idea what am i feeling about .

i can't even describe the feelings but i wish i could just let it out .

i just do not know how .

P/s: i already started to like you . i guess so .

awkward .

2009-11-05T07:04:00.000-08:00

i don't know why i suddenly miss 4D . its so awkward . lol . but i had fun seriously . okays , fine . i agree that i cannot meet the bed . if i did , my eyes will shut . hahaa . Faith's friends have a nick for me which is colourful because im wearing a colourful tee-shirt . colourful ? well , cute nick .. so its okays . HAHA . people , can we have another outing ? how about that ? ESCAPE THEME PARK anyone ? lol

P/s: i hate goodbyes . do you ?

WTFLL ?

2009-10-29T03:23:00.001-07:00

i super duper mad . firstly , im currently having PMS . lol , being honest here , HELLO ! im having my first day of blood leaking .. ewww , im being kinda disgusting , HAHA ! secondly , BOTH OF MY BESTFRIENDS AREN'T GOING TO THE CHALET ! im sad && angry . i will be so lonely seyy . not really lahh but thenn come on lahh .. no fun sia like that . alot of people are not attending the chalet && people that attend have to pay alot . puhhlease think about others ley . i thought 4D is a united class . maybe im wrong , maybe im right . i pity Faith cause she really putting up alot of effort to make this chalet happen for all of us you know .

P/s:lovely thoughts might be a nightmare .

shocked !

2009-10-27T06:38:00.001-07:00

cute ? totally ! haaha . yahh the subject for today is SHOCKED . i was shocked that today , i opened up the bottle that have been kept in the dusty cabinet for so long . get what i mean ? what i meant was that i told my two bestfriends mostly everything about my situation right now .. feelings . well , it was not because i was thirsty but i was actually random you see .. thats why i was shocked . well , surprise , surprised ! indeed i was .

Maths O level paper 1 today .. it was not badly done .. i did all the questions with enthusiasm but certainly have no confidence in getting a dinctintion . im not aiming high cause i know i wont get it && wont have any confidence because that confidence might be too over BUT a pass would certainly give me a sense of joy . seriously . && tomorrow , my instincts tell me that the paper 2 will be really dificult . OHH FATHER FUCKER !

Guys , you might think i am stupid BUT i have decide that maybe i would rather choose to go ITE than to be promoted to sec 5 . yah .. yah.. yah.. STUPID BITCH ? fuck yourself . i thought that maybe moving on to a new enviroment might be a stepping stone for me . My Bestfriends && I will make the confirmation when we have seen our results . Oh Mother ! im so scared like a pussy cat . HAHA ! everyone is scared right ? so dont ever criticize me because there is also some other people who are feeling far worse than me .

P/s: the poetry i wrote for you those days brings tears to my eyes whenever i read it .

Deep thoughts !

2009-10-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

Hello there fellow readers . This show is fantasticly amazing to me .. its funny && romantic . blahh .. blahh .. blahh .. the first time i watch it was before the show was out in Singapore . Shh ! today , i got to know my father bought this movie && so i was patheticly bored at home ALONE again ! before i continue my story .. the first time i watched this movie was when i am with mummy at home .. && one part of the movie i was in tears . OHH SHUT UP ! i know im freaking emotional but HEY ! everyone have a soft side in them , right ? actually , this is one of the reason i reject some of my friends asking me out to the movie .. HAHA ! pathetic ? well its true . && so get back to the story .. i was so angrossed && concentrating with the movie && never thought i would cry again like that time but fuck ! i did cried ! shut up !

But what made me wonder is the feeling in me .. its a mixture of jealousy && sadness .. what is this ? why must i feel this way , people ? anyone have explanations ? maybe i miss those hugs && kisses from my special love one .. but where is that person now ? NOWHERE . lol . but then , i felt happy when im single .. freaking freedom .. not being flirtious but then i didnt have anyone to control me by saying 'you are not suppose to do this && that ' . well , everything is different now .. && i guess this is what have been written in the book && i sincerely accept it . really ! sometimes :PP

Girlfriend :Honey , can you pass me my bag?

Boyfriend : hey bitch ! get it yourself .

Liar !

2009-10-25T06:23:00.001-07:00

i certainly dont understand why do guys love to lie . i hate people who says they wanna do it but end up NOTHING ! isnt that the same as empty promises . A person call my hp to chit chat , another minute another person will start to interupt by calling my hp . BUT when my hp is silent .. theres NOTHING . fuck ! seriusly .. i hate this game siak . what i meant by a lie is that , he says he will call back at night . && FUCK YOU ! i waited like some kind of retarded bitch till 6 am ! why am i so stupid ? why am easily trick by another human being ? does it always happen in nature ? NO ANSWERS ! call me in the afternoon kept apologising && i forgived him . so easily . but then the next day which is yesterday HE FREAKING DID THE FUCKING SAME THING ! fuck fuuck fuuuuck ! i slept in the morning near to 7 am .. its not because im dumbly waiting for his call , its because i cant sleep . what i did was watching a stupid show which i barely understand after that i end up thinking about my life , problems && in the future . im scared ; felt as if i am naked in the middle of North Pole . what should i do people ? kill myself ? yahh , i should .

SWEET TALKER FATHER FUUUUUCKER ! NABEY CHIBAI .

I said .

2009-10-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

These people are my laughing gas . After since i have been single , they are the monkeys i hang out with . Inculding my Mummy . I dont think she allows me to post her picture as she would say ' Eh delete lah , nnti aku sepak muke kau .' HAHA . in english ; Eh , Go delete before i slap your face . i have studied her lines very well indeed . the way we talk to each other as if we are like friends . best friends . && she is really open minded && easy going whereby loves to say vulgarities .

Friends would ask me what did i do in these period of time . I would answer back ; nowhere . well , this is what i meant by my life is dull . To && Fro from Bedok to Kallang , Or Kallang to Bedok . but when some friends of mine would asked me out , i would reject . its not that i am a snob , im just not ready to go out with a new person && start all the sharings && stuff . Some would understand but some wouldn't . Secondly , im broke .

Hey sexy , you know what ? PUCK YOU .

iyrahh:compliecatedLife

19th birthday

2009-10-20T08:57:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 19 , BELOVED BROTHER !

Friends everywhere but not the Special ones .

2009-10-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

these days i spent my time with my family .. with Epul && Ezam .. Both kaki gerek . Well , besides that life have been really simple to me . i thought of working but to think back maybe i should concentrate on my O's first right ?

i am really confused about the problems that i am facing right now . Once , i was fond of someone , that someone said he is insecure && now he have been avoiding me . to think back , what he said was right . never wanted a relationship even if its not 100 % . i aint desperate for him but just thought that maybe i could change his mindset but it NEVER happen that way . As another time for just being myself , people get fond of me . End up breaking that other party heart for being honest .

People , to be honest . im not yet living in peace .. i still have not fully move on . i still kept the msg when i && him broke up .. i would still be in tears when i think about it . && IMPORTANTLY it still does hurt me when i see those memories . what i have plan is , to admire someone ; just a simple someone to make me forget about him && totally move on . i thought i already did but i was wrong . soo wrong . im still waiting to have a special person to coach me in these things .. to be strong && delete those messages . i just couldn't do it myself . im totally weak inside . i don't really feel the resilence in me anymore . && i dont know where to get help .

I WAS A STRONG GIRL . BUT DEEP INSIDE , MY HEART HAVE BECOME TOO TIRED . BUT I KNOW SOMETHING THAT NEVER CHANGE IS THE SMILE ON MY FACE . && I KNOW I WILL ALWAYS HAVE IT EVEN HOW MISERABLE I FEEL INSIDE . EVENTHOUGH EVERY NIGHT I PRAY TO

GOD TO TAKE ME AWAY BUT I REALISE LIFE IS SHORT TO BE WASTED .

iyrahh:complicatedLife

Sweat Like A Pig

2009-10-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

Im freaking tired right now . you know why ? because today went to school to have my N level Additional Mathematics Paper 2 . its terribly difficult . as if my brain is so weak to think deeply for the formulae && workings . BUT yaaaaaays ! N level is freak done . left O level Maths && O level Retake MT . well , bored but i am quite relief . after the exam , wanted to go home with Yi Ling(Faith) but ended up we went to Pasir Ris Park to book the chalet for 4D ! woohoo ! im soo damn excited you knoww , *winkwink* lols . i && Faith met 'her/his' aunty && so we went to aloha loyang . the places is so unique && nice . i know it will be so happening on the 2,3&&4 november , right my dear 4D ? loool . Until here darlass . im tired . cos i kept sweating because of the weather && the long walk . Tata !

Sickening

2009-10-03T23:44:00.000-07:00

i am being sincere to be a friend of anyone . i dont choose && i dont judge . come to me && i will treat you like my own friend eventhough i have just known you . you asked me to leave this friendship ; ill swear that i rather gave up then leaving . i am a person who really treasure friendships . i dont know how to hate a person . you hurt me , you get the retribution from God is what i always believe . Karma baby . im sincere in everything , you make me cry , i cry but only for a minutes thats why i believe i am strong in the inside . BUT when i blow up , you really have to get away from me .
These days , my life is terribly lonely && boring . its not because of i have no friends . is just that i miss being pampered by someone I love && someone who love me. its okaay , i aint being that dramatic but just letting what i think .

To that someone :
i am sorry that my words hurt you . i may not know how you felt but honestly i tried to put myself in your shoes . it is hurtful but its not the same how hurtful i am going through . its difficult to tell a person like you because you wont understand . i believe there is someone better to be there for you . i would really wanna say one million thanks to you for everything && i do appreciates it . i swear . all i could repay is by praying to God for you . i really hope you understand my situation . by doing this to me , you being selfish . so get that in mind . i really enjoy being with you AS A FRIEND . you are really sweet && i know one day , someone will treasure you like i should . insya'Allah .

iyrahh;complicatedLife

Potluck

2009-10-02T09:31:00.001-07:00

Hey people ! i know i took a long time to update about my potluck . Well my dearest friends turn up && we chit chated . Firstly it was quite boring because all of them were so quiet && shy . but then , when we started to play games && smoke sheesha i swear that i really enjoy the day ! one million thanks to my dearest friend ; Mr Shahrulizad . he bought my birthday cake , bring the sheesha things && give me a gift which is so expensive that i think twice in accepting the lovely gift . thanks to Mr Ajen ; having brains about games that we played . its like chaotic sey the games ; we played 'who, huh , what ? bluff . Taitee . Police&&murderer . ChopChillyChop etc' for people who didnt manage to turn up , i pity you guys cause we super duper HAD FUN ! Thanks to my dearest Ddy for the cute pink teddybear , my dearest Ajen for the Rose Sakura , my dearest Shahrulizad for the Escada ocean lounge perfume;cake,sheesha-ing && Hazrina for the purple hairband gift at that dayy . && for the rest of my dearest friends&&family who came .

Catch it !

2009-09-23T22:26:00.000-07:00

Today is my graduation day in school . now waiting for the ceremony to start . well , just cannot imagine what will happen later . either my tears are wasted or its too precious to be wasted . in school today , nothing happen that much . we played PE && after that we got scolding by the skinniest teacher . lols . shhhs ! honestly , when i think back about what will happen in my future , my hands shivered with fear && it became numb . my malay teacher , mdm Northasia is going to treat our malay class Pizza , && yaaaay ! lets eat &&eat like a pig . they are the pig but not me . lols cheyydebahh . Till here folks updates will be done often , i guess ? for that someone , i think that you should just kiss my ass ! wait a minute , dion was guilty for not wishing me , HAAHA ! nevermind , so long never contact like we used to . i will surely miss my classmate , TOTALLY !

iyrahh;complicatedLIFE

SUUUUWIT 6teen !

2009-09-23T04:26:00.000-07:00

21 september was when i turn one year older . alot of wishes on that day && belated wishes . HAHA ! its okays . at least they still remember my birthday . someone*ehemehem* was so accurate && the way he wished me was so touching . as for my bestfriend , Farah, gossh ! her message was so touching that i was in tears reading it . im really fortunate to have friends that still care for me eventhough how stuck i am in still HELL situation . Every night i talked to that someone on the phone && chit chated alot of craps but we enjoyed ourselves . As for another someone , he seems to be so 'lovely-dovey' with me but too insecure to get closer to me . but nevermind , i should give him time , right ?

BTW people , some idiotic friend of mine was so blur that they dont know what 'potluck' means eventhough i repeated it quite alot of time . so read carefully , POTLUCK is a picnic whereby you are required to bring your own food && stuffs ! hope that fool can understand . as for the first time i organized this event , it was certainly a new experience for me && i am helped by my bestfriends . As for Feeq , i just needed him to clear the freaking filthy fish tank . its was not my job && it was his idea . as for the rest of the things , i will try to get someone else who is more sincere to help me . F.Y.I ; i am not kiasu , SO PLEASE MIND YOUR WORDs ! this is what pissed me off . thanks God my parents teach me to have patience . Until here ladies&&gentlemens , thanks for reading !

iyrahh ;complicatedLife

Ohh God !

2009-09-15T07:17:00.000-07:00

This was not what i expected
I plan everything together with you
You love amaze my heart ; always .
It grabs my soul high up the skies
But when this ends ,
my heart && soul felt so betrayed
felt as if you threw me up in the sky
to the land which is isolated
you left me alone suffering
suffer from hunger of love
what was your intention
do you really treat me like a dirt
i was beside you all along
pushing you to the top to let you achieve
But when i have succeed ,
there was a stab on my back
it was you all along
i was glad && proud of myself .
proud of myself that you achieved
glad that i felt the love i needed all along
But it could not be mine forever .
Dear God ,
give me the strength to move on in life ,
make him succeed in life of what he wished ,
make him realise that i sincerely love him
i never have the intention of pulling him down
God , make me stronger to conquer my emotions .
my painful emotions that always distracts me
God , i seek for your forgiveness && i beg you for your help .
My One && Only God ; Allah .

iyrahh ;complicatedLife

2009-09-15T07:15:00.002-07:00

2009-09-15T07:15:00.001-07:00

2009-09-15T07:15:00.000-07:00

Mixtures of feelings .

2009-09-15T06:59:00.000-07:00

the freedom of my life has just begun ! Honestly , i felt awkard . ive been too faithful && sincere loving a person && its not easy to let go of the memories . well , i believe that this is just another obstacle in my life . people just came into my life && ruin it . well , to whom it may concern , it succeed , so CONGRATS ! Presently , im moving on in my life , im happy to have friends that support me && my mother who was always there for me . Im not really happy with my life right now because im lonely , fucked up , stressful with my studies && most of all ; N LEVEL ! why can't my mom gave birth to me earlier ? might be easier . BUT YEAAAAHS ! i hope this year celebrating my birthday might me memorable to me as its the 2nd day of hair raya ! isnt it cool ? well , don't be jealous . until here thenn !

iyrahh ; complicatedLife.

Dear God ,

2009-08-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

words are useless to describe how i felt . is he blaming me for him not being close with his friends anymore ? why is he complaining ? what about me ? sacrifices i made for you wre not enough . it saddens me . i appreciate what you have done , your pampering & stuffs but is all that sincere from your heart ? i love you wholeheartedly , but do you love me the same ? i guess never . i kept these to myself . your words hurts me like a knife . don't you even realise that ? i don't blame your friends for hating me after being eaten by your words . forgive my sins towards you , i guess im a typical girl that guys loves to use like a tissue . im sorry , i have to let it out . go on have your freedom , im sick & tired to be blame . let me go ; might be the solution to this . i miss your old behaviour towards me . where does it go ? i don't know .

goodbye , imy .

natural

2009-05-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

result is totally out of my topic , its really bad . what i am really worried of is my O level MT on monday ! its like , 'wow!' its so faaaaaaast ! first thing i had to clear my cutex on my nails . second is 'not sure yet' .

well , i have bestfriend who admits he is my bestfriend but doesn't act like one. he kept talkiing to that girl & i don't even know whether if i exist to him . he is getting cute but , gyeaaahs , attitude maaan ! well , he don't even realize , maybe he thinks he is not wrong & im just being over reacting . but , it hurts my heart you knoww , that girl stole my bestfriend. i hate her ! SHYTTTTTT !

i love my cat , he is so fat . like me . haaha . heyyy ! he is fatter , i am cuter . lol . okays whatever .its been so long since ive been typing on my blog . computer is still under maintainence . how long must i fucking wait ?! nevermind , cute girl like me can wait , ryte iyrahh ? YEEES !

pictures

2009-05-16T07:28:00.001-07:00

its been so freaking long since ive updated . okays guys . i have cancelled my chatbox its because idiots people who have nothing better to do are bothering me . so guess what , i aint gonna entertain them . so , im sorry because of not updating . computer at home is under maintainence .so few hours later in school , result will be release and i know its not gonna be a good new for me . ohh God please help me . nighty-nighty folks .

Long Updated

2009-03-31T08:48:00.000-07:00

Firstly , forgive me for not updating for quite a long time . i was busy with families and friends . outings here and there . well , too tired to update . but here are some pictures that i would like to share with you guys , & some people couldn't wait to look at it , SAABAR okaaayy !

It was Sports Day today . well , i had fun cheering for my class . it was quite a good effort because our class got third . better than nothing . so gyeeeahs ! pictures . actually its quite boring , secondly , guys sitting behind me kept throwing thing . i confronted them and then they stopped , cowards ! haha !

On Sunday , me , Raihan , Afiq & Luqman went to have Sheesha . after Sheesha we went to esplanade and talk some craps . weelll , i had fun again , lots of fun .

On 25/03/09 , My mummy gave birth a cute baby girl weighing 4.3 kg and we named her Allysha Qistina . cute ryte ?

As for these leftover pictures was the holidays outing . we went to Kualar Lumpur . its was planned going to Melaka but i dunno anything as i was told it was a surprise anniversary with me and boyfriend . got to know at last we are heading to Melake and having only a one night stay .

Over here is at Jurong Top . Epul , Me & am is the Camwhoressss . lol happy happy uhh ! best pee . ((:

At Bugis .

At Punggol

Random

2009-03-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

Okays , i guess its been a long time i have not updated . so now i have the time , i update okay . here it goes . . .today was really a normal day , i went out with Danny to see mummy and Uncle Yus at Joo Chiat . we ate then we plan to stay at Pasir Ris to relax at night we go home . i talked alot asking mummy random question like 'Mummy , if you have choices of becoming an animal , what animal do you wanna be ? . then mummy answered ; Bird . another question , what kind of bird do you wanna be . mummy answered ; Eagle , fierce and can fly high .' thats some of the random question . well theres nuthing much . i went home with Danny . in the bus , i felt something that came into my mind . so i decide to tell a story that i made .

A teenage guy who just learn how to love .
a guy named Andy .
he was cute and friendly .
girls were really attracted to him because of his best feature ,
his smile .
Tica was his first love .
they both get into a relationship .
Both felt the feelings that is at the top of the world .
Tica was a decent girl who was honest in the relationship .
But Andy ,
he was influence by his friends .
he got to know another girl named Bella .
Bella was a sweet and good natured girl .
She was hypnotise by the smile of Andy .
it was love at first sight for Bella .
Andy was typically playful and played around with two decent hearts .
the most serious relationship was his first love , Tica .
Tica didnt know Andy intentions .
she believed him too much .
and its was a trust that were wasted .
when the sad moment arrived at the time .
Tica got sick .
the doctor told she had a brain tumour and its too late to have a surgery .
that is the reason why she kept vomiting and having a headache .
she was also told that her life will be like time bomb .
sooner or later she will not be able to walk , talk like she is right now .
Tica's heart sank deeply into the ocean .
her thoughts run into different visions .
she was too weak to break the news to Andy .
Andy was surprise to see Tica called him .
Tica told him that they have to meet and she wanna see the sunset .
it was random but they met and sat under a tree silently .
Andy was waiting for the truth that he didnt expect .
tears began to appear at Tica's eyelid .
she couldn't manage to say it out .
so Tica gave Andy a letter .
Tica looked away and cried to hide her sadness .

Tica wrote ;

how i wish i could be yours forever . i knew we could be forever but life is unfair at times . i thought this would not happen to me , i was so healthy last time . but if this is what God gave me , i know i have to accept it . i went to the doctor today , and the doctor broke the news that i had a brain tumour . i wont be able to walk and talk again like i am doing now . that means we wont be able to spent time together like now . i wanna make today a memorable day that i could remember eventhough i could not walk or talk some day . the doctor say its too late to have a surgery . i just want you to know how i appreciate your love so much and how faithful you are to me baby . and i really love you so much .

Tica ,

Andy couldnt stop sobbing .
he cant even make himself look at Tica's face .
he was so cruel and heartless to Tica .
he played with Tica's heart .
Andy wasnt faithful .
he kept it a white lie in his heart .
he would not dare to tell Tica .
enough of Tica being hurt .
Andy wouldn't want Tica to be more upset .
he force himself to face Tica .
he hugged her tighty saying that
this is just a nightmare to both of us, im so sorry .
Tica just sit there still and reply with a soft voice saying
we have to face the fact , its the reality and we couldn't hide behind the rock forever .
at that night love of the couple grew stronger .
Andy didn't think of Bella .
He was selfish to Bella .
Andy broke the news to Bella the next day and sorry is only the word he gave .
But Bella understand , she walked with a disappointed tears rolling down her cheeks .
soon weeks began to pass ,
Tica grew weaker and weaker .
Andy stood there beside her everyday helplessly .
They both knew that evnthough they cant be like lastime .
in their heart , thier love always stays the same .

SORRY IF ITS TOO LONG AND TOO LAME .
WELL ITS JUST FOR FUN AND I MEANT NO HARM .
THATS ALL FOLKS .
TAKING CARE YAWW .

UPDATED

2009-02-28T03:42:00.000-08:00

yesterday was very fun . okaays it was interclass yesterday for the girls we played floorball & the guys half will play basketball , half plays soccer . BEEEST OII . eventhough the girls & the basketball team lost , the soccer guys won 1st ! we took pictures aloads . actually i took it . snap here & there .

anyway , i would like to apologize for not updating my blog . well forget friendster , its been months i have not been active in it . actually im bored sometimes . no computer at home . went home after school spent most of my time with boyfriend & reading a book . okays im a 'NON-BOOKWORM' okays .

14feb was valentines day and i would like to share some about it . first this it was friday and the time was ard 5 when i & boyfriend reached Bugis to meet mummy & my stepfather, brother & farshy . we then headed to Bugis Junction mall and we shop aloads of things for each other . gifts of valentine to one another and its so touching to see each of us surprise their own gifts . well when it was 10 , Zam & epul met us and we do some stuffs and book a place in K-Box at Suntec City . 1130 we reached Suntec City and we sang songs . mostly malay songs . when i sang , Uncle said i sang nak step slangg . ape je . its normal okaay . bluuuueeeks ! =PP , boyfriend say my suar sedaap . maluu i . muaaaahahaa . 12 we celebrate and ate cake that epul bought . we then sang until 4 am and headed home . there also some pictures too !

ENJOY READING SUCKEEEERS !

next thing i will do is ..

SLEEP uhh ! bye .

school

2009-02-04T06:31:00.000-08:00

in school , first lesson is P.E , play with that rugby ball & Anisah kept pushing me until i fell down . i fell down a lot of time . once , i fell down on top Anisah , okayys , its sooo funny . i laugh like nobody business . i didn't played alot cause i kept falling down with Anisah pushing me ; i gave up . i kept shouting too . well its great maaaah .

second lesson was MT , its so dead boring , i slept or 'nearly' slept . (aku da jarang tido okaaay !) . we do some group stuff guessing the picture . well its quite lame actually . nuthing much to sayy about MT . for me MT is challenging , im not good in MT but i got in first class . the first class students is soo much more 100 percent better than me . somemore im gonna take 'O' level MT . sian nehh . i confirm fail .

third was maths , okayyys now im really fucking angry . again , excuse my stupid lang . we had a maths test , which is Cosine Rule & Area of Triangle(not right angle) . i did alot of careless mistake . i didn't do the last question cause its so difficult . the thing that makes me fucked up is that i did the formulae wrong for the Area of Triangle it was suppose to be 1/2(a)(b)sinC but instead i wrote 1/2(a)(b)cosC . dumb rite ?! i hate myself . MISS NG I WANT A RETEST PLEEEEASEE !

After recess was , Physics & its much better . we had a recent test . and yaaaaah ! i got third , and had same marks a Fahmy . well the marks is not so great but hahaha , who cares . im quite happy but not really . okayys , now im bullshit-ing .

last period was Bedaah's . everyday we see her . very jelaak you knoww . Dion , Tong Khee , Ashraf & Derrick were forced to do the walk-the-walk . well they are not spotting . anyways , in class i kept msg-ing Dion . and pleaseee theres nuthing between us . get it ?! we are BESTFREN . hahaha . he is my PIG ! lol . no lah . he is my hawty in class only . Ooops . Shhhhhhhhhh !

ohh fuckk , A maths is tomorow & its hell . have to be sarcastic with that MR SIM again . he is so childish but then the girls wont stop giggling about his nonsensical behaviour . his weird yet he called us childish . stupid , he doesn't realise that he is so old & childish

enjoy reading SUCKERSSS !

ehhhhh wait ! the three twins ( called by most teachers) do some camwhore in school . whyy ? cannot meh ? we are bored so we do it so kill our time when recess .

Have Been Edit By Me ;

poetry made .

2009-02-04T06:17:00.000-08:00

i felt a touch of care
not other than my dearest
he knows i need it so much right now
as my confidence is falling apart
he just like my guardian angel
who understand whats life has been for me
a tough & rough moment i have
is like walking barefooted on a shattered glass
i wanted to give up
and im falling down on the edge
he , my guardian angel ,
pick me up with his own magic
and made me realise how fortunate i am to be alive
living a life that is hurtful but yet
others might have suffered more problems then i do .

CNY loohh !

2009-01-26T23:35:00.000-08:00

kite semua have fun you knowww ! HAPPY-HAPPY LAHH ! btw , its firecracker not fireworks , babi siaa !

a LOL .

2009-01-23T06:22:00.000-08:00

Today some of the students in 4D had fun . Lots of it actually . you know why? dunno ryte ? because . . we had a last minute decoration . & it turn out to be quite nice . well , after our hard work doing things that we are assigned to , we even took pictures .

New me , a change .

2009-01-18T03:27:00.000-08:00

Each day i may get uglier .

For people whos long to see my ugly face or my changes

There it is .

Australiaaaa !

2009-01-17T09:59:00.001-08:00

it my pleasure to show & share with you the photos in Australia . now i really miss it badly . as for there , we have fun + study . so its not a waste to know general information in Australia .

This is some photos of Australia , photos are not finish & it will soon be .

updates , fuck , sick , tired & fun

2009-01-05T06:09:00.000-08:00

Okaayyy guys , apologise abt the late updates . the stupid comp is spoilt at the moment is sucha stressful problem for me . i spent time aloads with boyfriend , & for some of you guys , you should know that for the past holiday i went a fieldtrip with schoolmates & classmates to Australia .

Guess what ? its fucking nice & i really enjoy it . please excuse me abt my lang , hurhurs . there some video & pictures in Australia that i have taken with boyfriend phone and there is more in my camera. please enjoy & COMMENT eeeeehhhh ! i mean tagged me abt the Australiaa .

pictures will be post soon .

Pictures in Tanjung Pinang .

2008-11-08T21:20:00.000-08:00

us in the ferry on the way to Tanjung Pinang ! it was so great . meanwhile while waiting to our destination , boyfriend & i went to the smoking area at the back of the ferry to take some fresh air . from there we can really enjoy the scenery .

we are in the van of our driver , Dodi . boyfriend & me was at the back of the van . at that point also . i was also being use for a look out went the van is going to reverse . okayss useful right ? ((:

this is some pictures to show the enviroment at Tanjung Pinang . all of this pictures is captured by boyfriend . ((:

Dodi brought us to this temple or some kind of museum of buddist . boyfriend & i do a camwhore a little bit . ((: & please ignore my babats . :D

a picture of Aisyah at the Hotel lobby , a baby aged only 40 days . i really anjoy taking care of her . isn't she cute ? ((:

Animal in Tanjung Pinang .

2008-11-07T20:32:00.000-08:00

I must admit , i miss blogging deadly siaaaa ! these few weeks or days is a busy & the most 'Funn-est' things i have been & did . let me share with you . on the 29 Oct , i , my mom , Yuslan , & boyfriend went Tanjung Pinang . we went there because we have somethings to do . when i reached there i felt like my old childhood days at the kampung . we straight away went to the Hotel . the Hotel was 'okay-okay' so we put our things in our own room & went somewhere . HELL YEAH ! Yuslan , my moms husband but not my real father knows most people over there so there nothing we can be bored of over there . i got irritated sometimes when most of the people keep looking at me differently . our Driver , Dodi , brought us to change money to Indonesia money . at that particular shop there is this big male dog which is so fluffy & white .

the weird things is that my mom have touched it before but when i came into the shop it started barking at me . the owner then said he liked me . OHH GODD ! i have phobia with dogs who likes to bark especially big one . I am an Animal Lover , i don't care what kind of animal ; dogs , cat , rats , bird , fish & so on . since that i start touching & get close with dogs even big dogs . den we when to the beach which called Tengkorak or somethings sounds like that . boyfriend & i took pictures . Guess what ? I FUCKING & TOTALLY LOVE THE BEACH . the sand is so fine & the water is so clear . there is also aloads of stray dogs , my mom dares me to gave coconut drink to the dog ; female dog - bitch . i gave it & she really drinks it up . i felt so different as in the feeling towards animal .

At the Hotel there is this Fish , the Hotel staff told us if the fish swims following the direction of the person means the fish likes the person . the Fish is Arwana & its a male . GUESS WHAT AGAIN ? it follow me where ever i go , weird right ? theres also stray dogs outside the Hotel , Two male dogs , one darker , one lighter . Dodi brought me & boyfriend to see the dogs The darker one espeacially love me . i rub his back den he lay down so i rubbed his body den he gave me his hand i was curious , he actually wanted to 'high-five' with me . weird again right ? my mom is also the witness of this scene but boyfriend is afraid of dogs , the lighter dog went to him and smell his 'private-part' grossssss ! HAHAHAHA !

whoo knows i have animal insticts ? IT WILL BE GREAT ! hahaha .

this is the story of the Animals in Tanjung Pinang .(pictures will be post A.S.A.P)
there is also more stories about Tanjung Pinang , soon i will be sharing them with you .

Normal Act .

2008-10-25T07:08:00.000-07:00

I was terribly weak yesterday cause of my fever plus my flu thats why i didn't post . i was lying on the bed all the time . poor boyfriend , i didn't manage to entertain him . for today , is just a normal , boring day . i woke up in the morning have my breakfast , watch the television , talk , go to the toilet & sort of things .But then , Fatima called .Fatima is my cousin from Kuala Lumpur , Malaysia . She and her family was in Singapore to accompany her father that have business here . She asked me out today to join her , her mom & Sarah to watch High School Musical plus shopping at Orchard Rd . how i wish i could go but then i was quite weak with this sickness . She was disapointed but all last what her mum told me is that around December i will be going there for a vacation . i can shop til i drop ! WOHOOO ! poor boyfriend , have to miss me AGAIN . till here i will stop my post . nighty - nights . :D

Emotions .

2008-10-23T08:38:00.000-07:00

Today was quite fun . first in school , we clean up the class , all i did was clean the dust bin & go to the big dust bin to&fro . not to forget , Jane & i help each other to clean the windows . Jane help to clean the upper ones . wadever , i know im quite short . then Dion & friends came with the mac donald that some of us ordered & kept it in the cupboard . After cleaning the class , we all proceed to the AVA to check Sec 3 NA overall result . its was totally bad . there is also an awards presentation , well i just got only one star award for term 3 which is for Geography . next , we went back to class , all our mac donald foods&drinks we ordered were given out on the table but some were missing. Farah didn't even get her milo . well , dosaa tau mencuri . hahaha . then Mdm Zubaidah confiscated some of the foods&drinks but clever me , mine was save inside my bag . HAHAHA ! after that was our recess . the bad things was that the milo that i kept inside my bag spilt onto my edusave form for the perth trip . WALAAUUU WEYY ! but who cares i got new one oready . but during recess we get to sabo Khairul with flour is was goddamn fun & funny . Dion throw some flour at my hair & yeah i looked like a grandmother .after recess we got our results , i failed A maths badly . i just got 29 for it ! but the rest i passed but some boderline , who cares , at least i passed & got promoted . some of us got retain , im sorry for that somes )): . i will show my bad results in tomorrow post . after school , went back home straight and help out my mummy to cook . now, at night, i just came back from Mac Donald & got a BIG fight with my brother . he is so irritating . i just top up & he kept messaging Fash with my prepaid . he thinks money drop from the sky . stupidd ! sometimes i felt i have hated him so much . but whatever it is , he is still my FUCKLING BROTHER !

Pictures .

2008-10-22T09:03:00.000-07:00

Fash , Brother , Zufeeqhar & me :D
Us .
Us againn .
Zufeeqhar , me , mummy & brother .

those are some pictures of Zufeeqhar , me , My Mummy , my brother & Fash .

Do that bloww !

2008-10-22T08:48:00.000-07:00

Today was so fun ! First , assembly , i , Hazrina , Khadijah represent our class for the badminton award , we got 3rd . WE GOT REAL FREE MEDALS . hahaha , kewl ryte ? we learn First-Aid , about CPR & choking thingy . its was goddam funny . the first 14 students give the try out ferst for the CPR , its was quite long but we really enjoy it . i sat beside Fahmy & Farah . Fahmy was soo funny , i keep laughing with him & we also make fun of the dummy . well , after that , our recess was one hour , i played poker cards with the chinese boys . i really enjoyed myself . after school , have meeting about going to Australia , Perth . im so excited seyys ! well , Zufeeqhar is abit sad about that . but baby , its a good opportunity for me seyys . tomorrow , results slips & report book will be release & i am so nervous . Khairul's birthday is also tomorrow so lets see what happen . sabo tetap sabo ! WAKAKAKAKAKA !

Miserable )):

2008-10-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

I was really fuck-ed up just noww ! Thaaank Allah that Zufeeqhar was around to help me . Thanks dear . my mom is upset about my grandmother & my aunt . i just don't want to interfere . well , talking about this is just wasting my anger . lets just change the topic . Haha ! eventhough i was sad & frustrated just noww , Zufeeqhar managed to help me clean up my house . believe it or not how hardworking he is ?takmo kembang lols. for my cat , Ah Beng , just kaypo-ing around looking at me & Zufeeqhar cleaning around . i change Ah Beng's food & water then i give him his toy . the toy that he use to lick & play with . SOOO CUTEE RYTEE !? haha . to tell the truth , my love towards Ah Beng is much more than my own boyfriend , Zufeeqhar . But still , BOTH is in my heart . its late , so i go to go to sleep . tomorrow will have First-Aid Course , mepekkkks siiaaaaa ! HAHAHA !

Sadder .

2008-10-21T01:45:00.000-07:00

I'm quite upset with the results for my EOY . Especially my A maths , the rest is not really bad lurhhs but . . quite disappointed . i really hope that my results at the report book is better because have not total up together . Today , in school , Mdm zubaidah instruct us to comment our own classmates on the pieces of paper & pass it around , GOOSSH! thats so fun . At last , what my classmates comment about me was quite sweet & funny , im touched . At home , i got one bad new about my nenek(grandmother) , she told rumours to my aunt about me & feeq , WHAAAT THE HELL SIAAA !? not only that , my Aunt email my mum with all sorts of insulting , i was pissed & replied her myself telling the truth . My nenek really makes me angry & totally ruin my day . But at least today is my 3rd month with my Sayangg , hope we last . Well , continue later at night , see what happens later when my mum come to Bedok (my house) at night .

start of a new chapter .

2008-10-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

A picture of Zufiqhar & Me.

Having a life that have no problems is absolutely craps ! to me , i express my emotions by writing some poetry in my own notebook . At times , problems do give much stress to us , but at least it makes us think & be more independent .
i talk , chat as if i'm older then my age but , who cares ? as if im happy with what i am & i know i have my own originality . My Boyfriend , Zufiqhar , is always besides me . I do appreciate him aloads . eventhough its young for us to have a relationship i know our love for each other is pure . My Everything , Ah beng , his my cutie pie whom i always turn to when im down or happy & guess whats his my loveable cat ! Family ? hmmm . . its hard to say as problems keep popping & bursting like bubbles . At least i know i handle it myself . A life that starts in Shahirah , a simple , open-minded & kecohrable girl !